Sunday, November 25, 2007
What is a good friend to me.. at least...
A good friend is someone we can count on, as well as being so much more. A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and share our innermost thoughts--deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or our hopes, joys, and fears. A good friend allows you a safe space to share your deepest thoughts and needs--without worry of being judged, criticized or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do.
Friends cheer each other on, laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.
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A good friend is rare...hard to come by.. It is not easy to find someone that you can trust..
A good friend is for keeps.. but each time I managed to find one.. I blew it.. How many ruined relationship(s) so far.. let me count.. Wow.. five.. When I am going to learn to behave more like an adult? When? Sometimes, I do wonder why am I behaving like this.. why am I so sensitive.. why am I so dependent on my friends.. more than my own family members.. why am I so demanding.. so attached.. I always have this fear of losing a friend.. to the point that I become too possessive. Why so insecure? So many whys.. Sigh.. no one can answer these questions..
A great friend.. well, ok.. once a great friend told me.. Mel.. don't think too much.. you have other things to worry about. Let it be.. Let it go.. Ah.. I really miss this great friend of mine..
Perhaps I need to see a counselor.. why so emotional and vulnerable tonight? Probably because I need to face my fear tomorrow. Why so scared about tomorrow?
Why so worried about tomorrow.. I have to realize that it is impossible to know everything about human being and those deadly diseases that would affect them, which means, I will be admonished by my senior colleagues. I have to prepare myself mentally for that. But how else am I going to learn if not the hard way right? Sigh..
To be honest.. I have been living in this fantasy world-my very own dreamland. I am not in touch with reality, probably that is why I get very upset when reality hits me and things did not go the way I want it to be. I have this ego, thinking that my way is always the right way-but I tend to forget that there are so many other ways of doing this one thing. Why so rigid?
I cant even sleep tonight.. too much adrenaline at the moment.. another thing.. the car.. not in the best condition.. the nut.. broke.. Sigh.. what a thing to happen just before I report in.. and there is another issue about my blood pressure.. it is going to be high tomorrow.. I just knew it.. with all these stresses..
A good friend is rare...hard to come by.. It is not easy to find someone that you can trust..
A good friend is for keeps.. but each time I managed to find one.. I blew it.. How many ruined relationship(s) so far.. let me count.. Wow.. five.. When I am going to learn to behave more like an adult? When? Sometimes, I do wonder why am I behaving like this.. why am I so sensitive.. why am I so dependent on my friends.. more than my own family members.. why am I so demanding.. so attached.. I always have this fear of losing a friend.. to the point that I become too possessive. Why so insecure? So many whys.. Sigh.. no one can answer these questions..
A great friend.. well, ok.. once a great friend told me.. Mel.. don't think too much.. you have other things to worry about. Let it be.. Let it go.. Ah.. I really miss this great friend of mine..
Perhaps I need to see a counselor.. why so emotional and vulnerable tonight? Probably because I need to face my fear tomorrow. Why so scared about tomorrow?
Why so worried about tomorrow.. I have to realize that it is impossible to know everything about human being and those deadly diseases that would affect them, which means, I will be admonished by my senior colleagues. I have to prepare myself mentally for that. But how else am I going to learn if not the hard way right? Sigh..
To be honest.. I have been living in this fantasy world-my very own dreamland. I am not in touch with reality, probably that is why I get very upset when reality hits me and things did not go the way I want it to be. I have this ego, thinking that my way is always the right way-but I tend to forget that there are so many other ways of doing this one thing. Why so rigid?
I cant even sleep tonight.. too much adrenaline at the moment.. another thing.. the car.. not in the best condition.. the nut.. broke.. Sigh.. what a thing to happen just before I report in.. and there is another issue about my blood pressure.. it is going to be high tomorrow.. I just knew it.. with all these stresses..
posted by Mel at 2:07 PM, | 
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