A Plain and Simple Life is a Full Life...

Sigh.. the plan last night was to a bit of studying on Obs and Gynae today so I have decided to stay at home to do that.. but so far.. (it's already 9.30pm) I have only managed to cover Induction of Labour.. now moving on to Operative delivery = Instrumental and C-Section.

So.. yesterday.. left home for college at 10.40pm.. Meeting Hema, KJ and Stacey.. supposedly but only Hema went to see the patient with me.. He has good cerebellar signs though.. anyway.. then I went to town to buy a new phone with Hema.. Nokia 6060.. same as KJ's.. and then.. had lunch at Charcoal Grill - had Mixed Doner.. went back to college..purposedly missed Prof O Brien's tutorial.. went to Mr Cooke's instead and he did Ortho, Uro and Trauma with us.. past years Qs.. went back to library.. I SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME.. but I thought Dr O Regan would give us a tutorial at 4.45pm so I waited but he didnt show up.. Thankfully I did though.. a tip from the Anaes dept: Septic shock for written papers.. Next.. went home with KJ and had dinner at McD.. had a pretty serious conversation with him-mostly about what he thinks of me as a friend and housemate..

I am glad I asked.. but at the same time, I could have handled the truth about myself better. He said.. "I slammed the door when I am angry..." I never noticed that part though.. He cont.. " I can be nice to the person who is nice to me in return but also very mean to the person that I dislike.." that is just so true I supposed.. and I need to look into that.. what else.. " I am moody and fickle minded.. " and the best part.. " I need to be careful in terms of choosing my friends.. " and I was like WHAT? What is wrong with that.. but he rephrased that and said, I should be more careful with those people I meet online.. yea I love meeting people online.. but I cant believe I am hearing all these from a 22 year old guy.. and I am turning 25 in 4 months time... I mean.. how come I never thought of all these..

I thought I am a nice person.. but the truth is.. I am not that nice.. in fact, I am the opposite rather.. and I was so sad when I found about this last night.. but I guess it is better for me to know about this now.. rather than later. I couldnt help it but think.. how come I am not nice at all...I am not sincere.. I am not naturally nice.. when I spent the last 24 years of my life trying to be nice.. I guess people around me didnt think it was a nice thing from me? I am so bothered by that.. as u can see now..

And the same feeling haunts me again right at this moment as I am writing this blog.. feelings resurface..


I used to go here when I was in PreClinical years.. and feed the swans.. and I feel great after that. Maybe I should do this again.. This is Spanish Arch by the way.. in Galway,Ireland..

So.. yeah.. last night was spent on thinking of what I can do about these problems that I have.. sometimes I do wonder.. why do I need acknowledgement from people around me? I just need acknowledgement from God..

Relationship with God is on the rock as well.. I just have so much to deal with at the moment.. I hope I can do some studying tonight... Will have an intensive study group this weekend.. not looking forward to it but we all need it.. Till then..