Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I have been ThinKin'

I have been thinking about my life after this.. what's next? What should I do after June 07? Will I be able to live on my own? or do I really need someone to live with? Will I get depressed and kill myself if I live on my own.. I hope not!
I took this photo on Saturday.. on my way home with Ger after we had our dinner at Mustards.. on that same day, a very dear friend left as well..



Going back to an empty house.. was such a painful experience.. still is.. although this is not my first time being left alone at home.. I mean.. of course my housemates would have their own chores to do for the day.. but I know that they will come back.. latest by 1am.. bottom line: they still come back..

And because of that.. I have been thinking.. will I be able to stay on my own in Balinasloe next year? Should I look for someone to live with? What if I cant get along well with that person..It will just make me miss my current housemates more.. sob sob sob..

Only God alone knows how I felt that night.. I was so sad.. very sad.. and I have never felt that sad before.. I was taken aback by my own sadness.. ok enough of the word sad.. Why sad? (promise-last one!)- Dont know why to be honest..but maybe because
  1. I will be alone for 2 months in this new house..
  2. I have to clean the kitchen and those bins alone-I cant help it.. all the BIG bins need to be scrubed.. disgusting!
  3. I have to sort out the phone thingy and broadband on my own-I have never done this before.. the worst part is that I have to wait for EIRCOM to terminate the current phone line which is not ours obviously.
  4. I miss the presence of my beloved housemates.. I miss hearing them teasing each other, shouting HaRRo and Tee-ReD, and I miss spending time with them.. to me, they are not just friends..and housemates.. but also my family here in Galway. I cant imagine how things would be when I have to leave Ireland for good next June..What if I dont see them again? Ever.. Well.. if that happens.. then.. I have to say that they are one of the best gifts I've ever received in this world...
  5. I am scared.. I feel that I am being left alone.. and I have to do this and that A-L-O-N-E.. No Daddy to guide me.. No KJ to supervise me.. tsk tsk tsk

Today is Tuesday... I wanted to do get my PPS no. but I came back with nothing done.. I wasted the whole morning waiting for nothing.. HOW COME?

Here's how come...

  1. We took queue up no. for the wrong counter
  2. When we finally got the right no. our turn was way up.. current no. was 23, ours was 70 so we went out for a drink.. 45 mins later... it was no. 86.. and we had to take another no. 103
  3. When my turn was up.. the lady at the counter look at me with a disgusted look and ask me if I have any proof of address.. and I gave her my old addie.. and told her that I live at a new place.. maybe I shouldnt have told her.. I dont know.. but bottom line.. she didnt have to PUSH MY DOCs and said I cannot help you.. and gave me the look that says -LEAVE NOW

I have never felt so humiliated in my life before.. I stormed out of the office, called Mastercard BOI to send my credit card bill to the new add and I didnt join the rest for sushi afternoon.. I went to watch a movie instead-United 93 after buying a few things.. Movie was sad.. and it made me realised how lucky I was that I didnt have to be in that flight.. To watch the preview and to read the sypnosis.. click here for movie and here for sypnosis if you want to.

Going back to our new empty house and knowing that I will be alone tonight is not really a nice feeling but I kept on reminding myself that this will be over.. I will be occupied next week as my parents will be coming over.. and then, induction week, work work work.. and before I know it.. one of my beloved housemates, a very dear friend of mine is back... So.. in the meantime.. I am just taking it.. and I'm not applying for a job I think.. so much to do now..

Ok la.. till then.... Dont know when I will write again.. Sigh..

 
posted by Mel at 9:50 PM, |

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